Oh my goodness, I feel like every time I sit down to right this I just have so much to say- and then something happens (Gray wakes up, work stuff comes up, I end up cleaning ha…), but I am finally sitting down and getting this done (no matter how long it takes!). I will warn you- this is a long post. I felt like there was so much I needed to say and so much information to share! Definitely feel free to bookmark this and come back later because you may be here a while haha!
I want to say first and foremost- I am sharing my experience. Every woman’s postpartum journey and parenting style is different and that is perfectly normal! There is no right way to recover from a delivery, no right way to get your child to sleep, no right way to feed your baby- you do what is safe and what works for your own family. I am just sharing a little about my experience for those of you who may be interested.
The last three months have been such a beautiful-and challenging-time. Scott and I have both tried to navigate this ‘parenting’ thing as best we can even though mostly it just feels like trial and error. Every day is different with Gray and we have learned to just roll with it.
Today, I wanted to share a bit more about how I am feeling postpartum, why I am now exclusively pumping and bottle feeding, and Gray’s current sleep/feed schedule. I also wanted to share some sweet photos from our last 3 months.
Postpartum Journey
Up first- let’s talk postpartum. I want to preface this by saying that about a week ago I addressed on IG stories a common message I was receiving: “HOW ARE YOU SO PUT TOGETHER? HOW ARE YOU GETTING ANYTHING DONE? YOU ARE MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A BAD MOM.‘
Thankfully, my parents live very close and my mom actually comes over Monday-Thursday 8:30- 4:30 to help with Gray so I can get work done. When I was pregnant, I knew that I would need help (whether it be my mom or someone else) and thankfully she agreed! We have a very open and honest relationship, so I tell her all the time that if she needs a break/day off to herself I am totally fine with that. I want her to want to be here and never feel like I am taking advantage of her. I do pay her because let’s be real- this is a full-time job and a lot of work. When Gray is napping, my mom helps pick up the house, cleans, does laundry, and sometimes she even preps our dinner. Honestly, she really takes over the ‘mom’ role while she is here. She also runs things to the post office for me (like weekly giveaway prizes!) and will take any returns I have back to the store. This gives me time to work undisturbed in my office, film content, run errands, etc. Obviously, if Gray is super fussy or unhappy I do step in, but for the most part my mom tends to him most of the day.
Because of this, I am able to take time to get ready and actually complete my daily to-do list. The other thing you guys may not know is that I actually film content and take photos for the entire week on Sundays and Mondays. Most collaborations are scheduled far in advance, so on Sundays I will normally take all my photos for the week and on Mondays I film all brand stories. This way, I have that aspect of my job complete and don’t have to necessarily get ready every day of the week. I also hate scrambling around shooting photos/videos the day that it is due- I would much rather have everything done and ready to go in advance.
Believe me, the days that my mom isn’t here are usually a mess. I feel like I cannot get anything done and each time Gray goes down for a nap I am running around the house trying to check things off my to-do list (which I typically fail at). I am very grateful for my mom and realize that I am blessed to have them living nearby (which is why we will never leave this area haha!).
Postpartum in general has been an interesting time… I honestly felt like the first month was a blur. Looking back, I am shocked that I was able to function on so little sleep, but I credit that to maybe being on a “new baby high” where I was just really happy to have him with us. After the first month, I think everything caught up with me and I definitely hit a wall. The time period from Thanksgiving to Christmas was rough. I was tired and struggling with breastfeeding. I remember one day in particular where I couldn’t stop crying. I wasn’t upset about anything in particular, but the tears just kept coming- Scott really loved that day haha!
I have also been getting used to all the changes your body goes through postpartum- obviously, I have a scar that I will live with forever, my boobs are crazy, clothes don’t fit me the same, my hair has darkened and is super fragile… it’s all been an adjustment. Hormones are all over the place too- I can certainly see how all of this can easily snowball into postpartum depression. Thankfully, I have had a great support system around me and I am very aware of my feelings/when I need a break. I touched a little about this on stories as well, but getting up and ready for the day really helped me mentally. Setting an alarm, going to make my coffee, and then heading into the bathroom to wash my face/brush teeth/get ready has been my morning routine for as long as I can remember. It gets me going for the day; motivates me. I remember thinking while I was pregnant that I was going to try my best to stick to this routine. I just knew that if I fell out of it, I wouldn’t feel motivated and I would probably start feeling depressed. Don’t get me wrong- I love Gray, taking care of him, and being his mama. However, I knew that if I stopped taking care of myself then I would lose all motivation and subsequently get down on myself. I love a day of lounging in sweats, makeup-less, just hanging out with Gray, but I wouldn’t be able to do this everyday because I just know that I would fall into a bad space. All of us are different, but for me getting ready, slapping on some makeup, changing out of pajamas is important- it makes me feel like me again; it makes me feel confident; it makes me feel happy; it makes me want to get work done.
Whatever makes you feel like you again- take the time and do it! I cannot recommend that enough! It is crazy to go from not being a mom to a mom in an instant and your entire world is forever changed. My best piece of advice- don’t forget to take care of yourself. Yes, your life will revolve around taking care of this new baby, but don’t let it consume you. Ask for help. Take a break. Do things that you loved doing before that little peanut arrived. If you’re having a bad day- it is okay. It will pass and a better day is around the corner. And… if nothing else, email me (I am horrible at getting back too DMs now!! No, seriously, if you are having a tough day and need to vent, send it my way. Just remember- YOU are amazing, YOU are doing a great job, and YOU are the best mom to that sweet baby.
As far as recovery from a c-section, I have to say that I feel like it is going well. I have so many friends who had difficult recoveries and were in a lot of pain, but for some reason I never experienced that. Obviously, during the first few days I was tender and it was difficult to move, but I felt like within a week or so I was doing well. The hospital did provide me with an abdominal binder while I was there and I continued to wear it for about 4-5 days postop. I linked a similar one here! For the first 36 hours after surgery, I did take the lowest dose of prescription pain medication, but I made it a point to switch to Ibuprofen as soon as possible. I took Ibuprofen around the clock for the first week or so at home too. Going from a sitting to standing position was difficult (hello going to the bathroom!) and I moved around slowly. I still have some tenderness along my incision (if something hits it or if I rub up against something), but I am able to do almost everything like I did before. We still are taking it a bit easy at the gym, but I am hoping that within the next 1-2 months to be back to normal activity. I wrote a little more about postpartum and my birth experience here for those of you who may be interested!
I hope this is helpful for any of you mamas out there! Everyone’s postpartum journey is different, but I just wanted to share a little more about mine 🙂 As always, thank you for reading! XO -A
